The Advocate’s Edge

My undergraduate degree is a B.A. in English, with a concentration in Creative Writing (Poetry). So how in the world did I wind up as a trial attorney?

I Took Time to Think About It

Ever since my first mock trial in a class in middle school, I thought I’d wanted to be a lawyer – and then I found out that I could study and teach my favorite thing in the world at a college level: books. Suddenly, I wanted to be an English Professor.

I took a year off after college, did some soul-searching (which included a major breakup a la Elle Woods and a major death in the family – stories for a different day), and landed on the mindset that I have to this day: I can use my literary ability to tell stories in the courtroom and change people’s lives.

For me, law school let me blend my love of public service with my love of storytelling, in a way that would keep me employed and let me have an impact on people’s daily lives.

It also gave me the skills and tools to build my personal interests (like this blog and my creative writing) into concrete side projects to support my focus on public interest law. Trust me – being a public interest attorney is not flashy or well-paid (I work for the government). If money is your sole motivator for becoming a lawyer, you will be disappointed.

At the end of the day though, when I’m being honest with myself, it all comes down to loving the adrenaline rush of being on-the-spot in the courtroom. I joke that I would live in a courtroom if I could – and it isn’t totally a joke.

I Learned to Love Pushing my Limits

I had internships in the District Attorney’s (Criminal Prosecution) and Public Defender’s (Criminal Defense) offices locally before ever heading to law school. I went in knowing that I wanted to be in a courtroom, and thinking that I wanted to be a Public Defender (spoiler alert: I wound up on the other side).

Law school is its own beast. It is nothing like the actual practice of law. Depending on your class size, it honestly feels more like high school all over again at times – except with more intense coursework and workloads.

In essence, law school is a form of brain-washing. You have to be willing to double-down, lock-in, and buckle-up – law school will break you down and then build you back up as a lawyer. This is even more intense if you plan to be a trial attorney – law school doesn’t teach you about the law, it completely changes your way of thinking and your approach to problem solving.

For instance, being a successful trial attorney means being able to think on your feet, adapt quickly, and project confidence no matter what. How do you get better at all of this? By being put on the spot, repeatedly, in front of people. This can be excruciating at times, and I can guarantee you that both in law school and early practice as an attorney you will fall flat on your face (cue: getting cold-called unprepared).

But, eventually, if you keep getting back up and back in the ring, you’ll develop the ability to power onward into on-the-spot problem solving and argument with confidence. What kept me dedicated to law school and becoming a trial attorney was a combination of (1) seeing myself get better at composing myself under pressure when unexpected issues arose and (2) the rush of trial work itself.

I Didn’t Let Law School Define Me

When I first got into law school, I, like many, thought that now I had to focus only on being a lawyer. Then, about a semester in, I started to think that maybe I didn’t fit in or belong in the legal field, because I could feel myself pushing back against the new persona I was trying to adopt.

Then, the summer before 2L year (second year here in the US) I realized that I wanted to be a lawyer, but I also wanted to be myself. No more always-serious lawyer persona. There was value to what I brought to the table just being my outgoing, friendly, and kind self.

I believe that being able to acknowledge who you are through your approach to the law is what makes the difference between lawyers that hate the job and lawyers that love it. It’s also the difference between law students that find a way to enjoy, participate in, and embrace the positive side of law school, versus those students that merely drag themselves through it.

In practice, clients can tell when you’re being genuine as much as anyone else – you build better relationships with clients and colleagues if you are genuine.

Yes, becoming a lawyer will fundamentally change how others see you and how you see yourself. But that does not have to be a bad thing, nor does it have to mean you completely derail who you have been up until law school. Becoming a lawyer and being a lawyer is more enjoyable if you can be you – Legally Blonde was spot on here. So was My Cousin Vinnie.

I Came Out of Law School and Early Practice Feeling Empowered

Once I got back to putting the blinders on, focusing on being me, and celebrating the improvements I was making to myself, law school and being a new attorney became a lot easier.

I didn’t have to stress about appearances or how I was being perceived, I didn’t compare myself or my strategies for school/early lawyer tasks to my colleagues (or the 10000+ articles online telling you the “right” way to study and be an attorney – my eyes rolled even while writing it), and I didn’t question whether I should even be a lawyer.

Instead, a whole new world of opportunity opened up for me and I got to enjoy it, rather than push back against it. I was able to see that I should be a lawyer, because when I am myself people open up to me, they feel comfortable discussing topics that can be upsetting or even embarrassing with me, and they trust that I care (I am one of those attorneys that might actually care a little too much at times, but I am who I am).

In early legal practice, the name of the game becomes matchmaking yourself (personality + skills) to a legal job that lets you show up on a daily basis and confidently be yourself while navigating clients through the law. I personally am on my second job, in a second practice area – I went from Civil Defense Law Firm to Criminal Prosecution.

But for me, that meant going from mostly desk work with 1-2 actual court appearances a month, to a job where it’s rare to have a day I don’t have at least one Court appearance. It also meant more opportunity to teach and mentor young attorneys, which lets me bring my old desire to teach into my current work. I was empowered to seek out the area of law and tasks at my job that fit who I was and what I wanted, rather than molding myself to the job.

Trust me, finding ways to infuse your personal interests into the practice of law itself is how you keep yourself sane.

Think About It, Be Intentional, and Be Yourself

I took the time to seriously think about my decision to go to law school, was intentional about my choices while a student and in my first few years as a practicing attorney, and I found ways to express my personality and infuse my interests into being an attorney. Now, I love it!

I know it can be a lot harder than it sounds, but at least you aren’t alone. Everyone in law school is going through the same, new, life-altering process that you are. Everyone who is a licensed attorney was new at some point.